Unraveling the Mystery: What is Cold Mother Syndrome?

Dr Liliya Korallo
Feb 23, 2025
3 min read

Updated: Nov 4, 2025

What is ‘Cold Mother Syndrome’?

"Cold mother syndrome," also known as "cold parent syndrome," is a parenting style that is characterised by emotional distance and rejection. People who have cold mother syndrome are unable to express their love, warmth, and empathy; this leads to parents neglecting their children and making them feel that they are not loved or important. This type of parenting style can happen due to various reasons: parents who have unhealed past traumas and mental health issues can cause parents to not emotionally connect or develop a relationship with their children. Parents assume that showing love or affection towards children can be a form of "weakness," or some parents who had emotionally withdrawn parents/caregivers themselves are unable to express their own feelings to their children. We can identify cold mother syndrome in parents by observing the following traits:

• Lack of empathy

• Not offering support to their child

• Inability in expressing affection (emotionally and physically)

• Not showing any interest in their child or their achievements

How do children get affected by ‘cold mother syndrome’?

Children are emotionally sensitive, which means this syndrome can negatively affect them. They may struggle to trust others or maintain stable relationships. They might develop insecurities and experience emotional dysregulation. Low self-esteem can also occur, and they might engage in negative behaviours to capture their parents’ attention. Such children often feel lonely and have trouble connecting with others. Some might develop mental health issues, while others may adopt an unhealthy pattern of striving for perfection and becoming overachievers to gain parental attention.

How does City Psychological Services help in coping with ‘cold mother syndrome’?

Experiencing emotional distance from a mother, father, or caregiver can be very challenging for a child. City Psychological Services in King's Cross provides various evidence-based psychological therapies, including Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) and Trauma-Focused Therapy, to help individuals manage the difficulties associated with 'cold mother syndrome'. Our psychologists specialise in child trauma and thoroughly examine the client’s feelings and experiences to develop suitable coping strategies. These strategies aim to help our clients process their emotions and lead a healthier life.

Therapies We Offer for Healing Emotional Neglect

🧠 Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

Helps you identify and challenge the negative beliefs you developed in childhood — like “I’m not worthy of love” or “I have to be perfect to be accepted.” We work to replace them with healthier, more compassionate ways of thinking.

💬 Psychodynamic Therapy

Explores how early childhood relationships shape your adult emotions, attachment patterns, and coping styles, helping you make sense of why you feel or act the way you do.

🌿 Schema Therapy

Targets deep emotional “schemas” -- the core wounds formed when emotional needs weren’t met. Through guided techniques, you learn to soothe your inner child, reparent yourself, and develop healthier patterns.

💫 Trauma-Focused Therapy & EMDR

When emotional neglect is linked with trauma, Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) and trauma-informed work can help process painful memories and reduce emotional triggers.

💗 Attachment-Based Therapy

Helps you understand how your early attachment experiences influence your adult relationships and supports you in forming secure, trusting connections.

🌸 Inner Child & Compassion-Focused Therapy

These approaches gently help you reconnect with the vulnerable parts of yourself, learning to offer kindness, love, and validation to the inner child who was once neglected.

🪞 Integrative and Holistic Wellbeing Approach

At City Psychological Services, we also integrate mindfulness, breathing practices, and body awareness to help regulate the nervous system and reconnect mind and body — essential steps for emotional healing.

Healing and Moving Forward

Healing from “cold mother syndrome” is not about blaming parents — it’s about understanding and repairing the emotional wounds left behind. Therapy provides a safe, compassionate space to process the pain, release self-blame, and develop new ways of relating to yourself and others.

Over time, our clients begin to feel more confident, emotionally grounded, and open to connection. They rediscover their ability to trust, love, and be loved — not out of need, but from a place of self-worth.

At City Psychological Services, we are here to help you every step of the way — with empathy, professionalism, and care.