By Dr Liliya Korallo On April 14 2023
A healthy relationship needs time, attention, love, trust, and respect. It becomes weak and leads to a significant loss/breakup if these factors are lacking. Separation is painful, and it hurts. Not all people can cope with the circumstances after that and feel helpless.
How To Deal With Breakup?
Anger, grief, and depression are the common symptoms of a breakup. It takes time and space for a broken heart to heal naturally. To give up the grief and sorrow, dealing with split-up is vital. Below are a few things that can help move one back into life after a breakup.
Take your time, be calm and accept the situation.
Never think you are alone. Disappointment is natural when someone loses a relationship, dream or commitment. It is vital to stay firm and stop communicating with the partner, whether it is your friend, family member, spouse or colleague.
Take care of your health.
Share your emotions and feelings with your family members, friends and trusted relatives who understand and encourage you to cope with the distrusting situation successfully.
At extreme levels of grief after separation/divorce/breakup, when you feel mental and physical unrest, you must consult a breakup therapist. Counselling can help you move forward.
What Emotions Can Breakup Or Separation Triggers?
Whatever your relationship, whether it is your marriage, friendship or any other civil partnership, splitting up can affect your emotions. It is hard to deal with the emotions and feelings after a breakup as it is challenging to change one's negative and suppressing attitude towards a healthy and positive one.
Below are some actions/feelings/emotions and reactions resulting from the end of any relationship.
Disappointment, Loneliness, And Confusion
At the end of any relationship, feelings of sorrow, regret, and sadness arise, which trigger disappointment and make you feel alone over this tremendous loss. Sometimes a breakup is temporary, and settlement takes time because of confusion about whether it is good.
What is right and what is wrong? Is it the right time to give up the connection? All these thoughts are confusing and need to be corrected.
Ending up a relationship is never a happy moment, even though you think it is the right time to break the connection. Instead, it is disturbing and leaves a negative impact on your emotions. Breakup is traumatic, just like a person who leaves you alone after his death.
At the end of any relationship, the emotional trauma results in severe headaches, stomach upset, mood swings, irregular eating & sleeping routines, and painful situation.
The end of any relationship means you have lost the companion you thought was a precious friend sometimes. You feel sad about the loss you have made in your life, whether it is your choice or not.
Grieving is a natural phenomenon when you divorce or are divorced. It is a painful and miserable condition that makes your heart heavy over the loss of best times.
The first reaction over the breakup is anger, especially when you want a relationship but your partner wants separation. The feelings turn into guilt and failure as if they persist and all your efforts for settlement fail.
Even if you know the breakup is needed for your comfort and easiness, your emotions of being guilty sometimes turn into anger.
Bonding between partners is the power that vanishes entirely after the breakup leaving a sense of feeling powerlessness among the partners. No one can help, but the affected person itself can save them from the hopeless situation.
Anxiety and depression
The persistent emotions of sadness, anger, helplessness, and failure lead to anxiety and depression that counselling can manage. The symptoms of anxiety and depression are different in every person depending upon their capability to cope with challenging situations.
When To Get Help After Breakup?
After four weeks of the breakup, if the anxiety and depression persist and you are not ready to accept the loss, you must consult a doctor/ psychiatrist or therapist for a split.
Coming out of a miserable condition after a breakup is never easy. It takes time and depends upon the intensity of the relationship and your willpower to get out of the situation. The healing process proceeds faster as early as you accept the case and give space and time.
Every split is distressing and has common symptoms that are considered normal. With time, the conditions improve, the severity of pain reduces, and you start living an everyday healthy life. Initial signs of separation/divorce include
Pain, grief, sorrow and crying
Anger, frustration and isolation
No interest in daily activities
Not all people deal with breakups similarly; some recover fast, while others do not accept the reality and fail to combat these signs of detachment. When you feel more intense feelings and emotions associated with pain and depression, it is high time to seek medical help. The thoughtful, severe signs of any separation include
Depression leads to anxiety.
Less food intake and no or less sleep.
Hopelessness and disappointment.
No meetups with family and friends
Weight loss or mental disturbance
No plans; just thinking about death.
Both physical and mental health gets affected. It is better to get breakup counselling if any of the above symptoms persist for over a month.
How Can Counselling Help?
Counselling gives space and time to help people after a breakup to escape terrible moments and start living a healthy life. Family members are the first who can start counselling as they understand your feelings after a considerable loss.
Sometimes, the friend's and family's support is insufficient, and you need a professional therapist for a breakup. Counselling is a great opportunity where a counsellor uses different breakup therapies, which can help you in the following matters.
A counsellor listens to you, understand your emotions, explores the reasons for your broken relationship and makes you realise them.
Counselling helps you understand your loss after the split, helping you give strategies to cope with these poor emotions to come out of the previous down heart situation.
In a much more friendly way, a therapist helps you revive your life goals and upgrade your self-esteem and worth.
At the end of counselling, you can understand your emotions and loss, accept the loss and move ahead for future perspectives.
Counselling also help you understand what you are. What are your goals, and what do you want from your life? It is essential to move forward after a loss in a positive manner.
Breakup Counseling In London
If you are looking for private counselling services in London, we offer face-to-face or online interpersonal therapies for any psychological issue. The reasons for every breakup are different. Similarly, the circumstances vary from person to person. We deal with breakup clients through the following treatment methods.
In this method, the client gets space and time to explore the weak points and the reasons for their grief and become able to manage his emotions positively to strive for what he wants from his life. The recovery time depends upon the severity of the distress and the client's mental health.
A therapist or counsellor uses this therapeutic technique to help clients to cope with negative feelings, emotions, and behaviours by introducing mindfulness practices in their daily routine. The client starts accepting his condition and becomes aware of everything he lost in a breakup and what he has to do in the future.
Through various psychotherapy methods, a hopeless and stressed client, after breaking up a relationship, starts thinking positively. It aims to identify problems and change them into positive outcomes in one-on-one sessions. Many psychotherapeutic approaches are used worldwide. We offer the following treatment methods:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is our approach that helps control your sad and unhealthy thoughts, feelings, and behaviour after the break up of relation. Our highly skilled therapists help clients to come back to life from their negative thoughts via suitable therapeutic approaches.
In the first meeting, a therapist listens to patients' issues and decides whether they are treatable and which technique would be applicable. We conduct group and individual therapies at affordable rates in a comfortable environment.
Depending upon the extent of the mental issues of the patients, it takes a few months (8-20 sessions, weekly and one session held for about one hour) to become a positive-minded person who can use learned strategies and appropriately treat all negative thoughts. The entire counselling procedure includes the following.
Negotiations start once or twice a week initially. It is necessary to understand each other. If the client and the therapist are comfortable with each other, more chances are there to recover and learn positive dealings under harsh conditions.
After two weeks, results start, and the patient continues to figure out the reasons for their breakup and how to control emotions and attitude.
The therapist also helps the patient use his abilities to fight his negative thoughts. If sessions are conducted regularly once after two weeks, patients are trained to cope with their evil thoughts and become positive and productive.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a type of psychotherapy that develops mindfulness skills via talking sessions with a therapist to better cope with unwanted and painful feelings and thoughts and to manage them positively so that they impact less on you. ACT also promotes acceptance of things you have faced after a breakup and helps you clarify the most valuable things in your life
We offer VIP treatment at your doorstep at exceptional charges. It is an excellent opportunity when your patient is unwilling to visit the clinic, and you want a psychologist to treat your patient at home.
What Are The Things Not To Do After A Breakup?
It is a painful situation and not in your control soon after the end of any relationship. So, it is good to avoid the following things if you want to get out of stressful conditions as quickly as possible.
Do not idealise and beg for the relationship again.
Do not panic; face and accept the situation.
Do not consider yourself a worthless person.
Do not isolate yourself.
Do not use drugs/alcohol.
How To Get Through A Breakup?
Coming back to everyday life is a time-consuming process after a breakup. To get through this split, you need to do the following.
Give space and time.
Be realistic, accept the situation, and share your emotions with friends and trusted family members. Never underestimate yourself.
Keep socialising and get psychological help if you fail to stop depressive feelings.
Why Does Breakup Hurt When You Wanted It?
Some relations are not healthy, and you want them to be ended. All breakups are distressing, even though they are short-term or lifetime. You feel helpless and hopeless while feeling anger and frustration upon the loss of time you spent together. It hurts when you invest your time, feelings and love in someone who does not deserve it.