Cold Mother Syndrome: Therapy, Support, and Emotional Healing in London|CityPsychological

Dr Liliya Korallo
4 days ago
4 min read

I’ve worked with many clients who grew up with mothers who were emotionally distant, critical, or unavailable. Over time, I’ve seen how this experience often referred to as Cold Mother Syndrome. It can deeply affect a person’s sense of self, relationships, and overall wellbeing.

If you find yourself feeling disconnected, anxious, or struggling to trust, you’re not alone. And importantly, there are ways to understand, process, and heal. Remember therapy can help you to heal.

What is Cold Mother Syndrome?

From my experience, Cold Mother Syndrome isn’t about a mother intentionally being cruel. Often, it’s about her own unhealed emotional wounds. Yet the impact on a child can be overwhelming and significant. A child can often feel unseen, unsupported, unwanted or unworthy of love.

As you go older, these early experiences can manifest in the following symptoms:

Persistent self-doubt
Difficulty in trusting others or forming or maintaining romantic or close relationships
Emotional numbness/emptiness or detachment
Anxiety, depression, PTSD, Problems with Anger Management or chronic guilt
Difficulty in expressing or recognising emotions or not knowing personal or professional boundaries

Through therapy, I help clients become aware of these patterns, understand them and formulate their origin, and develop practical strategies to cope and achieve Life Worth Living.

Therapy for cold mother syndrome in London|CityPsychological

How Maternal Emotional Neglect Affects Adult Wellbeing

Many clients tell me they “shouldn’t feel this way,” or that their struggles and psychological problems are their fault. This self-criticism is common among people who grew up with a cold or distant mother.

Emotional neglect teaches children that their feelings are unimportant and valid. Over time, this can create cycles where adults:

Suppress emotions instead of expressing them
Avoid intimacy for fear of rejection
Struggle to set boundaries or ask for what they need

becoming aware of these patterns is the first step toward healing, and therapy provides a safe space to do this without judgment.

Signs You Might Benefit from Therapy

Based on my clinical experience, people who benefit most from therapy for Cold Mother Syndrome often notice:

Persistent self-criticism or harsh internal dialogue
Anxiety about pleasing others or seeking validation
Difficulty connecting emotionally with partners, friends, or colleagues
Feeling emotionally “empty” despite achievements
Replaying past interactions with your mother and feeling hurt or resentment

If any of this resonates, therapy can help you break these patterns, process unresolved emotions, and reclaim your emotional wellbeing.

Therapy Approaches That Can Help

I use a combination of therapy approaches tailored to each client’s needs:

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

CBT helps identify negative thought patterns and reframe self-critical or anxious thoughts. Together, we work on recognising unhelpful beliefs and replacing them with healthier, more realistic perspectives.

Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR)

For clients with trauma related to maternal neglect, EMDR can be transformative. It helps process painful memories safely, reducing their emotional intensity and allowing clients to move forward.

Integrative Approach

Often, I combine these methods depending on what the client needs. CBT for Trauma offers practical tools, Exposure Therapy- exposing to traumatic experience in a gradual manner and EMDR helps process trauma - all in a personalised, paced plan with a regular review.

How I Work With Clients

When you come to see me, my aim is to create a safe, non-judgmental space where you can explore your experiences without fear.

My approach is:

Empathetic and client-centered - your experience and emotions are validated
Evidence-based - guided by research and clinical best practice
Goal-oriented - we focus on strategies that you can use in daily life

Collaboratively, we uncover patterns rooted in your past, understand how they shape your present, and develop tools to live more freely and confidently in future.

Steps to Start Your Healing Journey

Starting therapy can feel daunting, but the process is straightforward:

Book an Initial Assessment – We explore your concerns and outline a plan
Individualised Therapy/Treatment Plan – Tailored approaches for your specific needs
Ongoing Support – Regular sessions to process experiences and build coping strategies
Review and Adjust – Therapy is flexible and responsive to your progress
Telephone Coaching - Contacting me in between sessions

Taking the first step can be intimidating, but I’ve seen countless clients experience significant relief, empowerment, and emotional growth when they start this journey.

Why Choose City Psychological

I’ve spent years supporting clients affected by parental neglect and emotional trauma. Healing is possible when therapy is:

Trauma-informed and compassionate
Structured yet flexible
Grounded in clinical evidence
Focused on personal growth, not blame

I’m committed to guiding you toward clarity, emotional resilience, and healthier relationships.

FAQs About Cold Mother Syndrome and Therapy

Can therapy really help with Cold Mother Syndrome? Absolutely. Therapy provides a safe, structured space to process emotional wounds, understand patterns, and develop new coping strategies.

How long does therapy take? Every client is different. Some notice improvements within a few sessions, while others benefit from ongoing support.

Will I have to talk about my mother in detail? Only as much as you feel comfortable. Therapy focuses on your experiences, patterns, and healing, not blame.

therapy for cold mother syndrome London|CityPsychological

Book a Session

If you’re ready to take the next step and start healing from the effects of a cold or emotionally distant mother, book an initial assessment today. Together, we can: