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18 Signs You Grew Up With Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder

Updated: Jan 20

Quiet BPD or Borderline Personality Disorder

If BDP is about revealing your anger and robustness, Quiet BPD is the complete opposite. In short, it is keeping everything to yourself or inside. Both disorders reflect a 180-degree nature. One refers to keeping things open, whereas the other keeps them inside. It is like the personalities of an extrovert and an introvert person.

Moreover, in quiet borderline personality disorder, the trouble is identifying that the person is suffering from it. Since the sufferer conceals everything, you cannot predict and detect this disorder from their personality. More trouble comes in a way that the condition becomes dangerous for the sufferer and others associated with him. It divulges the person into a traumatized state by infecting from the inside.

18 Signs You Grew Up With Quiet BPD

Hidden Feelings Have Taken Over You The first sign is a clear interpretation of an introverted personality. Introverts never reveal their liking, disliking, and other needs. In a quiet BPD personality, you act the same way. There is no showing of emotions from your end. And everything you feel and observe remains on the inside.

You Think of Being Successful

The biggest drawback a person can attain is to consider himself successful. Even if it is all fictional, the thought of it can take away your ability to face challenges. You appear to be successful, strengthened, and a fast pacer in front of others. People admire you for your sharp-mindedness.

While you focus well on yourself, you do not wander away in emotions easily. And that allows you to focus on your tasks swiftly. But when you move away from the spotlight and encounter an issue such as joblessness or divorce, you lose your successful side of yours. The anger, limited thinking, and low ability overcrowd your mind. And the delusion of success brings you into reality.

Experience Negatively About Self

You tend to look at your life and body from the outside. It is like you have detached yourself from your inner side and are viewing yourself as an outsider. At this moment, you realize that everything looks like a mess and you are a loser. Primarily, this feeling arises when you have experienced a lot of troubles, harshness, and losses.

It breaks you, and you cannot look for any solutions. Also, such a disorder makes you realize that your life is unbalanced. And it is you watching a downright messy version of yourself that is like a loser. In short, your self is not inside you but looking at you from a distance!

You'll Do Anything to Please Others

People that undergo a severe disorder of loneliness know how hard it is. This develops your tendency to give relief to others and make their lives joyous. In essence, your life is about helping others. One reason may be that you want others to not suffer the pain that you are suffering.

It also develops a thought of helping others to make them happy. Since you are experiencing heartbreaks, you want to be a light bearer. For this, you look for ways to please others. This behavior is most evident in households where BPD sufferers immensely love their families.

Isolation is Your Preference

No doubt that constant troubles and heartbreaks make you insecure. This insecurity goes a step further and offers you to others' association. However, this again leads you to suffer from a loss once your relationship gets more profound.

Thus, resultantly, you decide to go into isolation mode. Now you do not trust anyone, fearing another connection that might destroy your peace. Moreover, you feel relaxed and comfortable when alone, away from everyone. This act of yours takes you into a world of introversion.

Scared of People, You Push Them Away

Another common trait within you is that you tend to move away from people. Or you make people go away from you. Either way, your relationship with them is short-lasting and forged. A common reason is that you do not feel comfortable with people. Even in a relationship, you consider yourself the reason for your partner's suffering.

You believe you are not brave enough for tough decisions in a relationship. And thus, you decide to move away from everyone. This feeling takes you away from everyone and everyone away from you. And if someone tries to come closer, you move out so they may find your flaws.

Acceptance of Blame is Your Trait

Okay, so you consider yourself as the reason for every trouble. But it is also you that brings this flaw into your life. When you blame yourself for everything, toxic people see this as a point to discourage you. They will use more minor incidents to bring you to the center of flaws and issues.

And since you feel less comfortable among people, you will take the blame for cooling down the air. This cooling down will also make you automatically responsible for anything associated with you. With low and poor thinking ability, you are always ready to accept your flaws. And some spots that do not make you directly responsible.

A Confused Personality

You have become a personality that is confused to the maximum. While you can think, you are insecure. This insecure feeling develops a trait within you that you cannot decide for yourself. Decisions such as what you like, dislike, and need do not conclude.

You think about them but also overthink to a level you cannot decide. Everything is about failure and fear. And you lose the crucial moments of your life. It is like you have left the connection with yourself. A confusing personality is inside you, and people cannot work with you for long.

Control Seeker

Often, negative thinking develops good traits inside you. While insecure and fearful of almost everything, you wish to change the world. Or, at the least, you want the world to evolve with you. Also, you can develop plans and expectations regarding several things.

And you tend to think to perfection regarding managing things and work. Though your mind is weak, it is full of thoughts that can significantly help your cause. But for this, you want everyone to take notice of yours and to consult you. It is like you want to take total control of everything.

Internal Mood Swings Haunt You

Though people suffering from BPD show their mood wings, quiet BPD patients take everything inside. Essentially, they take everything to their heart and harm themselves from the inside. Nothing is easy when it comes to controlling yourself.

And with mood swings, you tend to bring a mask over your face that is not real. In actuality, you are suffering from the inside. And moods are changing or swinging from the inside. A significant drawback is that people with quiet BPD greatly damage their inner peace, control, and toughness.

Fearful in a Relationship

Sufferers are insecure and not strong enough to stay calm in a relationship. Relationships require having a good balance between both partners. If there is, there will be a relationship. However, being insecure assures that you constantly have a fear factor inside you. Even in extreme love, you always think there will be a time when your lover will abandon you.

Also, you feel your lover will leave you even in radical love and intimacy. This feeling of losing your loved one haunts you immensely. And you cannot enjoy a healthy time with your partner with a free state of mind.

You Will be Open to Self-Harming

When lots of insecurity and negative affiliation overcrowd your mind, it will not be for others. Instead, it will be all for you to explore and suffer from. Self-harming is a trait that will develop in you, and you will try to give yourself pain.

At the extreme, people try to indulge in self harm. At its lowest, it is about giving themselves pain. Either way, you will adorn the pain of heartbreak and loss. While the one you are suffering from, they will not know of your state. It is because you will also keep this state of yours to yourself without exposing it.

Falling Short of Expectations Haunt You

Fear is a great exponent and enemy. And it takes away the joy of many small things in life. Also, when you undergo fear, it is due to a feeling that haunts you. You want yourself to meet every expectation, high or small, that you have set for yourself.

However, you set unrealistic expectations that you often cannot meet. Since you cannot meet them, you indulge yourself in pain. It is like you are giving yourself the punishment for not meeting the expectations and goals.


People that have introverted traits do not mingle with others easily. Due to lesser exposure to others, you cannot interact with others. This further leads you to learn how to react against certain conditions. Being sensitive is the result of such actions and activities.

And being sensitive makes you feel vulnerable. Even a tiny setback turns into something big like a heartbreak. And you divulge into pain, crying, and other states of breakdown. There is no feeling of self-sustaining inside you. All you can do is expose your negative emotions at certain moments of trouble.

Others are on a High-Alert in Your Mind

Your mind is all about the things you like and the people you love. Talking about people, you think of them as angels. Nothing seems as negative about them in your life. And you do not either consider them to have any flaws.

But since they are on a high pedestal from your perspective, a small harmful act from them leads to a more significant reaction from your end. This reaction can be internal or external, but you lose the person you love immensely.

A Good Essence to Avoid Conflict

Fear, anger, and weakness do not develop courage and bravery. In contrast, it creates a feeling of insecurity even when you must show bravery. However, your trait of avoiding conflict results from you being insecure and fearful of losing people, things, and arguments. You tend to avoid and bypass conflicts by not getting into them.

However, you also do not like to be in a fight so you get more pain and hurt. It also comes down to decision-making that you need to improve. Thus, it is best for you to avoid conflicts due to your inability to solve and tackle problems.

Compulsive Liar

Over time, your lies have become more significant from more minor. Although you will find accusations that you are a habitual liar, it grows deeper in society. People will continuously find you at the wrong end, and to avoid eye contact, you will take the aid of lies.

This habit of lying will not take you anywhere. And you will ensure that this trait of speaking lies continues for longer. It is like a lifeline for you in certain places and cases, especially when everyone sees you at the center of troubles.

No Sense of Belonging

With a sense of insecurity, you lose your trust in yourself. Also, it enables you to understand that you cannot fit anywhere. Your inability ensures that you take every moment of life as a negative. For example, people will like to indulge in relationships and even friendships with you.

But you think of yourself as a minority or as a burden. Thus, there develops a sense that you cannot achieve anything in life, with or without a partner. In short, you receive a sense of not belonging to anyone's life, importance, or circle.

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