Updated: Mar 16
What Is Limerence?
The human body has various feelings that compose it. These feelings mostly remain unknown until they find exposure. Often, situations lead our emotions to come over us. And that perfect time, we see many senses and feelings inside us. Love is a great thing, a superb feel, but a form of it is known as Limerence.
Most people argue that Limerence is different from love. In truth, it is, but it properly originates from love. To understand what is Limerence, consider yourself in a state of feeling for someone in which you find yourself despairing but in utmost love. It cannot be love but a form where you find strong emotions of affection for someone else. And these emotions lead you into euphoria and despair in the most substantial manner.
What Causes Limerence?
Being in a state of loving someone is natural. In addition, love feelings contain the essence of the Limerence under discussion and genuine love that needs to be there. In love, a person keeps hold of their senses and thinking ability. But in the absence of these two, Limerence develops. In essence, the root cause of Limerence is the inability to think of both sides of the image. Though we will discuss limerence causes below, let us understand with an introductory example. A person who thinks about positives and failures can love rightfully. At the same time, a person that takes only the positive side of the story will never believe else in a state of fear. The former is love, and the latter is Limerence.
Though it is natural to ask why and how someone can develop this feeling apart from love, the answer is not simple. What triggers Limerence is the feeling of not being within yourself or simply needing to know about yourself to the proper extent. Some say this feeling develops and extends when suffering from a trauma or something close to it. This leads them to fantasize about things that do not exist, and it gives them relief in thinking about their fantasy world. But when this happens with someone who knows about himself, he can develop strong feelings from someone present. This state is more dangerous since it gives the sufferer an essence of not getting to the person they admire.
Signs and Symptoms of Limerence
Symptoms and signs often help elevate the issue so it can lead to treatment. With Limerence, the characters remain apparent and easy to pick. But more than the identification of symptoms is required in medical issues. The corrective actions taken to deal with those issues make a difference. For example, limerence signs are simple and relate to daily activities. Even dealing with them will be straightforward. But without a plan and procedure, it cannot lead to significant results.
Living with Limerence is a different feeling than love. And people that live with it find it hard to leave it. It is since the state you enter through it develops a feel and essence that does not exist in truth. It is a figment of your imagination, and you tend to live in a world full of illusions. To think what are signs of Limerence, you can understand these signs and possible symptoms.
Lack of Clarity About Someone The first sign of this feeling is having no clear image of the person you feel affected with. There is no clear image of the person your like in your mind. Just the mere presence of their thought drives you. And you happily constitute your imaginary world with their feelings and thoughts. In such a state, you find emotions of care, love, and affection for someone. But you need to know what traits and characteristics one possesses to love them. However, since there is no deep thinking inside your mind, you end up loving the person entirely from the beginning.
Thoughts Taking Up Entire Day
If your entire day is filled with thoughts of the person you love, it is a Limerence meaning to the best. Another critical sign of suffering from this behavior is your day is all about the person you like. An entire day filled with their thoughts clouds your mind. It is never easy to go away from their studies. But this state takes little time to develop. From submission in the form of clarity lacking, your mind goes into further submission to think that this person is the complete version of your mind. You intensively think of the person. And it takes your entire day’s thoughts, time, and work. Such a state can lead to a problematic struggle later.
Prioritization and De-Prioritization
Another stage is where you completely lose it in prioritizing everything in your life. The word ‘balanced life’ is reflective here in this state since you lose yourself completely. Limerence is not as troubling as losing and submitting yourself against it. In love and likeness for the other, people forget themselves entirely and undergo a state of waviness. In Limerence, one does not feel priority to everything and everyone else than their crush. They tend to only look for the person they love and how their slimmest reaction makes your day. This is also a state of submission to even a blink from the person you love.
Limerence vs. Love: What’s the Difference?
Both love and Limerence do not differ a lot. They remain almost identical but differ when a particular stage crosses. In addition to this, limerence attachment is not different from love entirely. It is just a state where the solid feel, presence, and emotion distinguish between the states.
Similarities with Love
Love is a state of liking someone, just as in Limerence. But the conditions reflect everything you need, which is another person to care for. In love and Limerence, likewise, everything surrounds the person your love. Although further elaboration makes the states different, the initial stages seem alike. Limerence and love are similar in that you develop feeling for someone that exists. The nature of feel and emotion is not the debate point. In Limerence, you get drawn to someone in any form, style, manner, or behavior. And there is something that drives you toward them. In both states, one does not look for and finds a perfect time and moment to be in the condition with someone.
Differences with Love
With differences, the actual patch begins to differ and show its true essence. Both states first discuss what it means to have a person to love and care for. In the state of Limerence, a person thinks their crush will complete them. Without knowing any concrete details about the person they like, people develop this feeling that is enough to break them and trouble their minds. Knowing someone through their traits is necessary to think about what they can give to your relationship. This develops a thought of intense affection that makes you feel that the person will move away and break you down. And their presence completes your life. Also, in Limerence, you want the person you love, whether they are correct and genuine for you or not.
Can Limerence Turn Into Love
One stage and the other can interlink, merge, and convert into the other. However, for this, a complete overhaul of the chemistry is needed. For example, Limerence is almost different from love in every aspect. But from the beginning, it is easier to distribute them. If a person indulges in a stronger sense of any state, it cannot be easy to convert into another. A forceful conversion will not be favorable and feasible for anyone. And can further lead to another state of illusion. Limerence can turn into love in the initial stage. Once the thoughts and feelings weaken, they will not allow you to shift into love.
What are the Three Stages of Limerence?
Limerence does not develop as a single stage and state and emerges into something bigger. In contrast, it grows in three phases, eventually making the bigger picture. These stages involve a degree where a sense of likeness begins to develop. This leads to the sense taking a firmer shape and strength. And you finally enter the stage where nothing takes you back, and you get deeper into the ocean.
Stage 1: Infatuation
Infatuation is the stage where the initial thought of a person clouds your mind. And there seems to be the person you love all over the place. It is the stage where you think about someone 24 hours a day, and every thought reflects the person you like and love. In this state, you develop a first-time-hard feeling that clouds all your imagination and fills your senses with emotions and sometimes causes anxiety.
Stage 2: Crystallization
All the thoughts that you have developed have to take a firmer shape for which your mind needs to be free. This is possible in love, but your mind is already overcrowded in Limerence. Hence, thoughts that develop from infatuation instantly begin to enter the crystallization phase. Crystallization itself means making firmer ideas and thoughts. In this phase, a person confirms his initial thoughts into something concrete. Limerence causes a person to think that the one he loves is the solution to all their problems.
Stage 3: Deterioration (Capacity to Love Test)
The final stage is deterioration, where the thoughts that began from infatuation and firmed through crystallization appear to be disappearing. However, small chunks of events do happen between crystallization and decomposition. All those events make a fantastic twist inside of the mind based on reality and illusion. A mixture of this sets you up in the third stage. With everything blurred, you see the person you love going away. This stage shows that all your thoughts are nothing but a dream that is about to end.
4 Ways to Manage Limerence
Managing Limerence is nothing but a war with yourself. Even therapists have to make a plan to ensure the outcome does not further deteriorates their patient. It would be best if you had a solid intent to do something more significant to manage something like Limerence. To crawl out of this effect of imagination, use these 4 stages of limerence management or removal.
Look at what the person brings offers you through words and thoughts. Focus on their actions and whether they respond positively to your love and likeness.
Never lose yourself. Know what drives you, and do not let others push you through their thoughts.
It would help if you had inner peace and learning. Hence, learn to give yourself time and commitment. Beating or defeating anything requires solid mental strength.
Build trust that will convert even the smallest Limerence feel into love and genuine affection. Trust favors a lot and transforms your relationship into a lasting one.
Is it Necessary to Treat Limerence?
Treating anything involves several steps, from understanding the issue and deciding where to fix it. A problem with issues like Limerence is that they do not offer a loophole but loopholes. Being a therapist or counselor, you need to identify the best way to begin the treatment. These states of mind often get a person close to trauma, and dealing with trauma is all about good counseling. In addition, a person needs to be well trained to treat Limerence.
Limerence extends to something that not many people can cope with. In essence, it gets you into a state where you overdo things that do not need to be present. Intimacy, love, and affection exist as real-life feelings and emotions. But through Limerence, they become highly one-sided and also extremely deep. Thus, you must get into love immediately rather than keeping in the state of limerence. Henceforth, it is necessary to treat it at a relatively good time. Good timing will even indicate signs limerence is ending.
Treating Limerence is essential either through good therapy ( cognitive behavioral therapy ) or extensive medical care. The reason is that the person involved in Limerence does not know the consequences. Especially after the third stage is about limiting the damage for the person involved in Limerence.