Traits of Emotionally Unstable Personality
- Dr Liliya Korallo
- Aug 16
- 4 min read
Updated: 3 days ago
When you navigate a demanding professional life, understanding complex emotional behaviours can feel overwhelming. Yet, recognising the traits of borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be crucial, especially when these traits affect your work environment or personal relationships. In this post, I want to share insights into borderline personality traits, helping you identify them calmly and clearly. This knowledge can empower you to foster healthier interactions and seek support when needed.
What Are Borderline Personality Traits?
Borderline personality traits refer to patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving that are intense and often unstable. These traits can influence how a person relates to others and manages emotions. People with these traits may experience rapid mood swings, difficulty maintaining relationships, and a strong fear of abandonment.
Some common borderline personality traits include:
Emotional instability: Intense emotions that change quickly and unpredictably.
Impulsive behaviour: Acting without thinking about consequences, such as spending sprees or risky activities.
Unstable relationships: Alternating between idealising and devaluing others.
Fear of abandonment: Extreme efforts to avoid real or imagined separation.
Identity disturbance: Uncertainty about self-image or long-term goals.
Understanding these traits helps you recognise patterns that might otherwise seem confusing or frustrating. It also opens the door to compassion and effective communication.

Recognising Borderline Personality Traits in Daily Life
You might notice borderline personality traits in colleagues, clients, or even yourself. These traits often manifest in ways that can disrupt professional and personal harmony. For example:
A team member may react intensely to feedback, feeling criticised even when the comments are constructive.
Someone might struggle with consistency, showing enthusiasm one day and withdrawal the next.
You could observe impulsive decisions that affect project outcomes or workplace dynamics.
It’s important to approach these behaviours with understanding rather than judgement. Recognising the signs early allows for better support and management strategies.
Here are some practical tips to handle borderline personality traits in a professional setting:
Maintain clear communication: Be direct but gentle in your interactions.
Set consistent boundaries: This helps create a sense of safety and predictability.
Encourage professional support: Suggest counselling or therapy when appropriate.
Practice patience: Emotional responses may not always be logical but are very real to the person experiencing them.
By applying these strategies, you contribute to a more supportive and productive environment.

Can an Emotionally Unstable Person Change?
This question often arises when dealing with borderline personality traits. The answer is yes - change is possible, but it requires commitment and the right support. People with these traits can learn to manage their emotions and behaviours effectively through therapy and self-awareness.
One of the most effective treatments is Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), which focuses on:
Mindfulness: Becoming aware of the present moment without judgement.
Emotional regulation: Learning to control intense emotions.
Distress tolerance: Developing skills to cope with crises without making things worse.
Interpersonal effectiveness: Improving communication and relationship skills.
Therapy is a journey, and progress may be gradual. However, with professional guidance, individuals can build resilience and improve their quality of life.
If you or someone you know shows signs of an emotionally unstable personality, seeking help early can make a significant difference.

How to Support Someone with Borderline Personality Traits
Supporting someone with borderline personality traits requires empathy and clear boundaries. Here are some ways you can help:
Listen actively: Show that you care without trying to fix everything immediately.
Validate feelings: Acknowledge their emotions as real and important.
Encourage professional help: Gently suggest therapy or counselling.
Avoid blame: Focus on behaviours, not character.
Maintain your own boundaries: Protect your well-being to avoid burnout.
Remember, your support can be a stabilising force, but it’s not your responsibility to “cure” the person. Encouraging professional help is key.
Practical Steps for Personal Growth and Emotional Stability
If you recognise some of these traits in yourself, there are practical steps you can take to foster emotional stability:
Practice mindfulness daily: Even a few minutes can help centre your thoughts.
Keep a journal: Track your moods and triggers to understand patterns.
Develop a support network: Connect with trusted friends, family, or support groups.
Set realistic goals: Break down challenges into manageable steps.
Seek professional guidance: A therapist can tailor strategies to your needs.
Taking these steps can improve your emotional resilience and enhance your personal and professional life.
Understanding borderline personality traits is not about labelling or limiting anyone. It’s about recognising patterns that affect well-being and relationships. With knowledge, patience, and support, positive change is within reach. If you want to explore this further, consider reaching out to professionals who specialise in this area. Your mental health is a priority, and help is available.
City Psychological Services is dedicated to providing accessible, high-quality support tailored for busy professionals. Taking the first step towards understanding and managing these traits can lead to meaningful growth and balance in your life.
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