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11 Psychological Reasons You Can’t Find A Good Relationship

Updated: May 26, 2023

Psychological Reasons You Can’t Find A Good Relationship

Many people question and complain about being alone in their lives. Either collectively or individually, they seem to find a space of loneliness. Both mental and physical reasons amount to people feeling fed up life tired. However, to decode what must be done against it, it is necessary to understand what causes you to feel alone. Being alone for a while is essential for your mental well-being.

In contrast, staying alone for longer causes you to develop the essence of loneliness. It haunts you from the inside immensely. And while you are in a relationship, it gets troubling.

Tired of Being Alone

Tired of being home alone is what causes relationships to develop. When people feel this loneliness, they tend to get into a relationship more swiftly. Hence, in contrast, feeling alone while in a relationship is the cause of destruction in relations. Both men and women tend to find the importance of them in others. And once this feeling develops in a loop, it takes away the love of a relationship, and you are left alone even being together. Many people head to psychiatrists claiming they are fed up of being single. If you are feeling the same, try to find respite by knowing what causes these feelings of loneliness.

Psychological Reasons you can’t Find a Good Relationship

It is ideal to know what causes a problem to understand a remedy for an issue. This makes it easier to treat the issue by knowing exactly what you are dealing with and what needs to be countered. Apart from knowing what causes your loneliness, a good explanation makes it easy to decode the issue. Below, you can see the list of some reasons that trouble you in finding a good relationship.

1. Afraid to Ask What You Need

The biggest flaw in relationships is not letting your partner know what you want from them. However, there is a misconception. People use this to assert themselves over the opposite gender in a relationship. Hence, a good balance is necessary for relationships. Both partners need to ensure that the other knows about their desires. This provides to have a mid-way solution that works for both.

Telling what you feel and what you need at the moment makes it easier for the senses and brain. For example, many partners claim to have more sex and go on dates. But without exposing everything to their partner, they keep it to themselves. This converts the relationship into something toxic. Many grown relationships end in a second when you get filled with negative thoughts of your partner not doing what you wish and need. In truth, the flaw lies in you not giving your partner even a hint regarding what you want and need.

2. Afraid of Saying ‘No’

In a relationship, the word ‘no’ has significance. Mostly, if a person has the guts to say no to someone, they have ample room to avoid break-ups or heartbreaks. It takes courage to say no to your partner. Once you enter a relationship, the word ‘no’ carries weight and momentum. It means you get to decide what suits you. Consider your husband wants to have sex on a night when you are tried to the maximum. Saying ‘no’ might temporarily upset him, but it will show you what he thinks of you from the inside.

If he is well-knowing and well-understanding, he will find a way to think that you need more calmness and easiness than sex. However, if they do not understand and get angry at you, he does not know what you need. And this point makes a relationship no longer workable. Try to introduce the word ‘no’ before and at the start of any relationship. It will give you confidence and your partner a hint that you need a good time to get what he needs from you.

3. Can you Impose Boundaries?

Men and women behave and think differently about a thing. If you consider taking out the trash, men would think it is a subordinate thing. And for women, it is the same. But if some boundaries are set equally, it makes a relationship workable. When you decide on boundaries, it is half the job. The next half is to impose or enforce them. Both ways, your partner must abide by them.

If they do not, you must ensure that boundaries are enforced and worked upon. By imposing these boundaries, you confirm that your partner fulfills your asking. It also ensures that your words carry good weight and that your partner understands your needs. Men and women can devise boundaries on a reasonable and equal basis to not let one think of being subordinate to the other. And it is equally important and valuable to enforce them.

4. Dependency

A relationship begins, works, and also ends on dependency facts. Both men and women are dependent on each other in many ways. Both partners expect a lot from each other physically and mentally. This feeling and essence of dependency is a good thing to have, but it can take away the charm of a relationship over time when both people have contrasting personalities.

Consider person A shy and consider them as being the underdog. At the same time, the other person believes them to be confident. The underdog never finds the guts to face challenges, and while meeting person B, he finds it a comfort zone to report everything to person B. Both persons A and B will not get the essence of a genuine relationship if they do not comply with each other. When both are tired of being dependent on the other, insecurity develops.

5. Making the Other Easy to Tempt

Aren’t you tired of being nice? A relationship is always between two opposing forces. You will rarely find people with the same mentality and characteristics. They will differ in many areas, and you will not see their weakness. And until you find it, it leads to a toxic relationship. Many relationships suffer because one partner is assertive over the other.

We can call it tempting the other to do things they want. This mostly comes from the assertive partner or the confident one. The other half that is easy to confer to ‘yes’ is the one that suffers. When the one who always has to say yes finds the root cause, they respond. And this feeling is not something the assertive and confident member will like.

6. Which Model of Relationship do you Follow?

Being in love or any other relationship is mostly about desiring to have the exact feeling. But this feeling has to initiate from somewhere. Mostly, it comes from seeing some couples or relationships. Even people in some relationships tend to look at others and how they carry over their relationships. But the ones who try to emulate the others do not understand they both relationships work in different manners and surroundings.

You cannot emulate the other while not being exactly in the same situation. And this leads to your relationship suffering due to you inserting external, non-applicable ideas. Whenever there is an essence that you must look towards others, you must look at healthy relationships that are alike. In contrast, if you do not follow a good role model, implementing some ideas takes away the essence of your relationship. And there is nowhere you can go with your lives combined. Here you see what makes crowds so cruel.

7. Lowly Matured in a Relationship

The x-factor in a relationship is always not knowing what maturity is. Immaturity in a relationship leads to even sensible people falling into the trap and losing it all. Nothing feels more fabulous than knowing what is needed to be considered a joke and what is something serious. It all depends on the level of maturity that you can infuse into the relationship. Even if your partner is not mature, try to give them the confidence they need.

Also, ensure you try to remain calm and relaxed and decide what needs to be done as an improvement. Many relationships survive because of the mature one working positively towards immaturity. However, when immaturity succeeds, relationships fall apart, and there is no turning back. Always alone is what will be the future or result of your relationship.

8. Gossiping about Relationships

Whenever a third person knows what you are up with, it is like getting them into your life. Two can turn into three and four and eventually many. This leads to people intervening in relationships and guiding each person differently about the other. Contrastingly, many relationships end devastatingly when there is nothing good to focus on. But it beings when you give others a chance to comment or come into your lives.

While gossiping about even simple things, you reveal why you live a happy life or a good relationship. And others need a hint to distract you from your lives. Gossiping about your partner is another common reason for relationships falling apart. Even if they do not fall apart, relations get toxic.

9. High Expectations

Often, relationships fall apart when there is little room for understanding. In a relationship, more focus is on how a relationship needs to move forward. But for this, the emphasis is to balance your partner's feelings, needs, and boundaries. Personal boundaries are required to be understood rather than implemented from the start. If one partner expects decency from the other, it is not a bad omen. However, expecting things unrealistic can lead to exposure to unhealthy and unhappy feelings.

In essence, most partners want their other half to earn more, give more time to the kitchen, and do things that doubt their potential. This makes the oppressive partner feel less critical and more like a subordinate. Your expectations must be realistic to ensure your partner feels safe and secure. If not, the least you must do is present them with good ideas and ways to ensure implementation. Expecting more can also mean giving more back to keep the relationship stable.

10. Do You Know Your Values?

A relationship has to succeed when there is more value individually than collectively. Relationships are based on individuals that know their and their partner's values. By values, it means what lies as boundaries for one and how the other will behave your needs. A good and healthy relationship has to be successful in several aspects. Values refer to an individual's importance and how you respond in several situations.

Moreover, values construct the table of characteristics for you. And they also ensure what your partner must expect from you. Such matters also give a view of what makes you happy and what you need utmost. Knowing each other's necessities provide a good idea when moving forward. The word 'compromise' only applies when people in a relationship know about the other completely.

11. Terrified of Intimacy

A loved relationship is about intimacy and intimate moments, even just a kiss. However, people often fear being loved and giving back the love. They desire to have decency due to being afraid of giving equally back. Most people like to be loved but are afraid to give something back. And if both partners do not feel intimate with the other out of love, nothing is left to pursue.

Relationships have to be spectacularly loving. However, they cannot succeed when there is nothing to love. The entire philosophy of love is around loving your partner physically. The feeling of giving someone love is unique and ideal. But this feeling of terror and fear is through overthinking what your partner considers intimacy. Most people feel that their partner is nothing but an 'animal' or will behave like one in an intimate relationship. Thus, these thoughts continue to overshadow the love you carry.

Final Take

Before this read, you might be feeling sick and tired. But after this read, we can assure you that you will be communicating that I was sick and tired of everything, but now I am finding a cure for simple things and errors that evolve.

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